Friday, August 27, 2010




Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
— James 1:22




To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I've never been this far before

To hold back my fear
and feel you so near

I'm scared of falling into deep this time
Do I need a reason to tell you why

I'm singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that

I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on

this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am


*1st day of the work week

nothing much,,

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added 082510wed141822.

Guess what, I have a boyfriend now. I'm sooo happy. well i've been posting emails to friends here of me telling them how it all happened. that pretty much tells the story of how it began. But this isn't about him really. I was thinking, did i enter another relationship too soon? If i check the timeline,vin and i broke up 052408 it think that was a friday? We didn't actually talk about it but we after few weeks started seeing each other again as if nothing happened. That lasted until he actually left for his mission, i even went to Pangasinan with this family where he was assigned then; that was march of 09. Even before he left i was already confused. i had debates in my head. i was thinking, should i move on or is this my opportunity to prove him how much i love him. So i didnt ask, even i f i wanted to. The question was left hanging. I was happy with him more than i was confused. But then months passed and i was getting more and more confused. I asked him finally. i was merely wanting an assurance from him, but instead i got a totally opposite reply, please refer to:
hahaha this is so uncool but anyway noone reads my blog aside from me. and there, i started falling out of love. but i was fine if he'd come back and would want to get back together with me. well to be honest i was still hopeful, well not that much, i was already expecting the worst. we didnt communicate for over a month. So beginning of 2010 i was already setting myself that this may just come to an end... and end soon. He reached out for me several times and i knew that he missed me as well. so i replied and sent a "breezy" email.

khaz gabaLEs to Justis

Mar 15

see you in 8 months then, just work hard, im sure november will come

before you know it, tapos play na kayo ng nephew mo =]


So we started talking again, although during this period i was already starting to lose interest in us "nawawalang gana". my emails were getting shorter and shorter, and if i were to compare it a meal, it's a blunt and cold porridge. he started asking if i was going out with anyone, i kept on avoiding the question. but he kept on asking incessantly. so i answered in a sarcastic manner. i knew he hated it. i knew he hated how i answered. and from that last email we havent spoken to each other yet. that was May of 2010. i didnt really care much, although i still check my mailbox during mondays. Mondays used to be so significant. I made myself extremely busy. Beginning April of this year, i havent stayed 2 days in a row at home. i always had some place to go, whether it's a gig, the mall, my friends house or at the office that i worked before. i was really busy. i was never available. i "plotted" my gala 2 weeks ahead and even had back up plan if Plan A fails. it helped a lot i started thinking about him less and less. Plus i resigned at etel and moved with K'a here over at Verizon. i had more time to be with friends. meet up with those that i havent seen a while. Shang even introduced me to her guy friend who's also single, in the hopes of me finding someone new(and yeah that didnt workout).

Scorching summer months passed by quickly. There was this one monday when i was writing the date at my journal, i realized it was a monday and i didnt think about him or thought of checking my email. i'd say i have moved on. and i was happy with that realization. like i've said before, "i have loved and was loved but some good things come to an end to make room for a new good thing." I hope that he is happy. I am happy with someone else now. I'm *happymuch*


something infiniteLy interesting

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