2 Days to Go

Paano ba magpa modify ng difficulty level?????  

Akala ko okay na, rollercoaster pa rin pala. 

Kapagod mag isip!

Thank you for the roof over our head

Wish ko lang mas ma practice ko ang gratitude in my life! 

Madami naman blessings, sa iba lang ako nakatingin. 

Grateful I get to keep my job (for the time being)

Grateful for the approval ng vacation leave ko at nagkakakulay na ang dream destination trip!

Grateful for my supportive husband and my loving son who always brings me joy.

Grateful for my toxic-free family. 

Grateful for the roof over our head.

Grateful for friends especially those who keep in touch.

3

I can’t even write a proper I miss you letter.

There is no easy way to begin to reflect and grieve your loss because there’s always regret. I always wish I could’ve done more. 

And I always wonder what it would be like to witness you shower Nikolai with love, the way you did with all of your apos. 

And it hurts terribly to think about that. So I move away from those thoughts because it’s just unbearable.

I can’t even honor my grief.

I’m still mad; and I still question things. 

You were kind, and gentle, and beautiful. You were always supportive, and have always shown how proud you were of us, always blessing us with your affirmations. 

You were so many things the world needs more of. 

And it’s so difficult to miss you because there is no road, no door that leads to you. 

Most I can do is to try very very hard to be like you - to be generous, to be thoughtful, to remember important dates, to make sure loved ones are included and no one is left behind, and to be loving and gentle despite the kind of world we’re in.

I love you and miss you always.

082824wed

Nakita ko na yung description “low tolerance to adversity”. 

Ganon pinagdadaanan ko. Parang kada may dumadating, “problema na naman???!!” 

Naubos na agad fighting spirit wala pa man din sa battleground.  

Kelan ba? 

So exhausting! Sana pwede magpahinga. Taympers muna sa intindihin. Pagod na pagod na ko sa walang humpay na pag overthink.

081324tue163204

Surely if I looked harder I'd find all my other drafts. I spent time on them - composing and Googling for much better fit synonyms, and of course filtering my actual thoughts to something I won't regret later on. 


But here we are.


Writing with no direction. Distracted. Drafting something that may or may not make my blog - depending on how soon Nklai wakes from his nap. 


So let's get to the important stuff:

I've come across this question online --

"How do you forgive yourself for the things you did not become?" 

Fuck, right?

"Panghihinayang" doesn't really translate to "regret". But how do people live without both? 

Okay I remember one of my other drafts, talking about the "cards you were dealt" in life. 

I'm not getting anywhere. And this is probably not a good start of a catching up conversation post. 

Sending light and love to my future self, if you have any panghihinayang or regrets, I hope all the good days are still worth it. 

Anyway, the little boss is up.

something infiniteLy interesting

Pico de Loro June 2024

How many summers are spent in Batangas? I can't count mine. Growing up in Cavite, it's almost always an annual thing. 
Best beaches are elsewhere but because of its accessibility, Batangas' popularity will unlikely decline.

For our 2.5 year old, it is already his 4th trip to Pico De Loro Beach and Country Club.
And for the purpose of this blog and the convenience of this lazy writer, I will shorten that every now and then to PDL.

Getting there

By car:

Use Google Maps. No really, there are so many roadworks in Cavite right now there's really no telling which way is best. 
I thought we will be doing the Aguinaldo hwy-Nasugbu-Ternate Highway route, but Google Maps suggested the Tanza - Naic route.
  

By Commute:

Beats me. This isn't really an informative blog, but my best bet is getting on a bus at PITX, and from the bus stop in Nasugbu town proper (in front of the Catholic church and near McDo) hire a tricycle. At least that's what we did years and years ago when Nelle and I went to Canyon Cove, which is also in Nasugbu. 

"Suki kayo sa Pico" - Jusyl 

So why Hamilo Coast PDL again and again among all the resorts in Batangas? 
-- it's the wide-range of activity available. 
Just kidding; it's actually the illusion of being able to spend less because renting a condo unit means having access to a full kitchen. You can bring your own food and cook your usual home-cooked meals. Booking from another resort means only eating their restaurant food which could really be costly. 
They also have better rates if you are booking for a group.
 
Okay fine, also the facilities and other beach activities:
Water actitivities such as Jetski and kayaking
Sports Recreational Area
Kids Play Area
Bowling
KTV

Although who really goes to beach resorts to do those other stuff?  

Apparently a lot of people. It was rainy on our second day, glad we had the option to play indoors. 

We booked a 1 bedroom condo unit via AirBnb. It was conveniently located at Miranda Building, 2nd closest to the beach. There are roaming free shuttle in the resort; though there may be a bit of wait time, it was still relatively easy to get around.

There is also an (ever increasing) guest fee that must be settled upon arrival at the Country Club. 
June is still considered peak season, and current rates for Guest Fee is P1400 for adults, kids ages 4-12 is P600. 
Even higher during "High Season" (all weekends of March to June) P1500 for adults, kids ages 4-12 is P700.


Restaurants at Pico de Loro
Lagoa - located at the Country Club
Sun Coral Café - Pico de Loro Beach Club
Arribada - Pico de Loro Beach Club
Pico Restaurant - Pico Sands Hotel
You can also get snacks and drinks at the Bowling Alley (B'N B) and the Beach Bar (Reef)

But we brought some groceries to cook:

Tanigue (my current fave fish)
Chicken quarters
Porkchops
chips, lots and lots of that
biscuits/cookies
bread 

And even beer and pang pulutan! 

You know what we forgot - everything else for cooking!

We didn't have salt, cooking oil, condiments! 

PDL Hack: 

And I'm not even sure if the developer actually authorized this, but there a mini grocery/Sari-sari store in one of the Myna units! 
(leave your email address and I'll share the unit number if you need it lol) 
Of course, the prices are ridiculously steep, but that's how it is when you plan poorly. 

Photodump coming right up:

When was the last time you played in the rain? 

For me, way too long ago. 

So it was a pleasant surprise to feel the raindrops on my bare shoulders. Nklai enjoyed it too and didn't want to go back "home". I had to convince him soon enough to make sure he won't get cold. 

I had a lot of fun on this trip. We played a lot - in the sand, in the outdoor and indoor playground, in the pool whether it was sunny or raining.
I enjoyed this trip even if it's a nearby destination that we've been to before. 
All the fire trees along the way, the welcoming lushes greens of Mts Palay Palay, the curves and bumps and all the other imperfections of the road; and the songs that we listened and sang to, and the ones that we skipped; and the conversation topics we had - the interesting ones and the boring ones; I was with them and that's all that matters.

Unfiltered Now, Cringe Later

Gusto ko ba talaga to? Oversharing sa blog pero ire-retract din naman..eventually.
Also sana uso na lang getting therapy dito no? 
Para 'di na ko nagpprocess ng thoughts ko online for my 2 readers and my future self to consume.

Anyway, inumpisahan ko na lang rin let me just kwento about my na-unsyameng birthday trip.

Lagi namin dndrawing ang Quezon Province trip, pero 'di matuloy tuloy. And nitong Holy Week, nagyaya na ulit si Arjen but sobrang panget ng schedule namin ni Alidogz, I just don't want to pitas so much leave credits para lang makasama, so we didn't.
I also feel like (warning topic for therapy incoming) - I feel I've been too available for friends na yung mga trip lang nila ang ginagawa namin; of course I kinda like them too, otherwise di ako sasama. But it makes me question na, okay how 'bout the things that I want?! (insert tantrums here)

I haven't really focused on that - what I want. I don't know why, but it's as if craving ako sa connection kaya yung "companion" ang appeal sakin of doing stuff with friends, secondary na lang yung actual activity. Does that make sense? I don't want to discredit naman the things some of my friends do, may mga nabubudol pa rin naman ako na samahan ako sa mga ganaps

but minsan lang I feel it's not the same as the effort I extend. Thats not really my friends issue, but boundaries issue ko sa sarili ko. 

So I asked myself, ano ba trip ko? Travel obviously; to be realistic, a "weekend" getaway will do but must have beach + sunset (+ food syempre takaw e). 

I booked a nice * estetik * hostel in La Union for 2 nights for just the 3 of us. 
I invited friends but since Mon-Wed yung dates ng trip namin, of course walang papatos. Some are also recovering from recent magastos trips and I don't think they even considered joining kahit ano pa invite ko.

Unfortunately Ali had a minor medical emergency a week before our trip. He's okay now though.
Our booking however, was non-refundable!
Gahd it's so upsetting just to write about it. Pwede pa rin naman talaga kami tumuloy, but malayong drive and mahihirapan lang ako with Nikolai kasi injured si Ali, and the meds, and other stuff - I ultimately decided to cancel.
Gusto ko na sana to just let it go as soon as I could (including the Php 6000 I paid in full). Ako na lang unang aayaw bago pa ko ma-turndown.
Pero tinry pa ko ipaglaban ni Donna, to no avail. I warned her baka ma-badvibes lang sya. 

The property said I understood the terms upon reservation eme eme fcknsht. But you know, for all kinds of reservation I semi expect that for medical emergency, there will always be some kind of consideration. 
They did say it's transferrable though, but we were at the hospital for how many days, 'di ko na pnrioritize maghanap ng mapaglilipatan. 
Also semi hoping na kaya na ni Ali after his treatment has kicked in since minor lang naman yung procedure (such an inconsiderate wife). 
So in order to feel less defeated, nagpa compose na lang ako kay ChatGPT ng negative review at nag 1 star - which tbh didn't really make any difference coz the hostel had stellar reviews. 

Next best thing I want - good food and tambay with coffee! 

Life changing rolls: Wabi Zabi in General Trias - treat ni k'A. It was supposed to be delivered, pero I just didn't want to spend my birthday at home kasi most likely mags-sulk lang ako sa napakainit na pugon also known as our apartment. 
And while I wanted to have coffee in Bulacan, dito na lang muna sa Hiraya for the view and better temperature vs Bacoor impyerno feels. 

something infiniteLy interesting