I never met a sunset I didn't like

This monthly shift transition is both blessing and a curse. Back to midshift means goodbye afternoon gala with Banban! It rained quite a chunk in July; missed opportunity for afternoon walk and play outside. 

Sumocial life almost the entire month (rest days) of July, and a little bit of midweek gala here and there. So ayun, need mag tipid this August and wala din naman choice because of chaka schedule. 

**

RATNDT:

08/09

Woke me up and handed his toy car.

Later that morning while I was in the kitchen nagsasaing.

Lumabas sya ng bedroom and said "Mommmmeee" then handed me my phone.

 **

I will definitely miss his Minion phase! I've been recording some of his morning daldal, and I swear, it's like he has sensor or something, tumatahimik few seconds in.

Anyway, after declaring "Our Spot" as our spot md buying camping/outdoor foldable chair from Decathlon, hindi na ulit kami nakabalik dun. And not sure how things will change sa portion na yun of Daang Hari as tito Manny has formally opened Villar City. 

Easier to get to GMA and Manila Memorial Park from our apartment, only for limited hours in the day for now, which is 0600-1800.

Photodump para sa mga taong walang maisip na closing remarks.

Banban and Mama na mahigpit kapit sa kamay

We had lunch at that gigantic café in Pampanga 

What is theworst cafe in Baliuag and why is it EC Cafe. Charrr! Sorry na, live band and coffee is just not our thing. Eto lang bukas though after namin mag Oppenheimer

Goodbye all the good habits of BLW dahil carbs na lang sya palagi

Pangarap namin ng madaming parks to go to, pero tiis na lang muna Manila Memorial Park, visiting lola and ggm, ggp

Cousins playtime

Cousins playtime

Mga mahal ko sa buhay

Rainy R+R Wedding

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I'm okay

It's still very much a struggle -- trying to process all these feelings of Mommy's passing.

It is as loud as it can be in my heart, but goes quietly, unnoticed. 
There are days I would feel this ridiculously intense panghihinayang; as intense as my love for my son. Quickly followed by anger. Bakit di sila nag abot?! 
Why didnt he get to receive the amazing love his lola has to give. She has so much love to give, it's almost unbelievable after all of her suffering.

But all these feelings, has to be put aside. Because there's usually an errand awaiting, or cause I don't have space, or it's too much that my energy literally gets depleted.
There's always an excuse. Then I would feel guilty afterwards, for not mourning properly.
For smiling and laughing, for "moving on". But there's absolutely no moving on, it's only coping a little bit.
And I don't think anybody understands, and so for anyone asking, the answer would always be "I'm okay". 

I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds – but I think of you always in those intervals.

- Salvador Plascencia, The People of Paper

I can't fix it

Gusto ko lang naman makipag kwentuhan sa sarili ko

Bakit ba ayaw ako tantanan ng bot traffic na to?! Huhu  

Aaannyway

Happy Father's Day to all Dads and father figure in this world.

At sa mga amang nang-iwan ng responsibilidad nila, sana hindi masarap ulam nyo forever!  

  

.....

Sabi ni Daddy, natuwa daw sya sa greeting ko. 

Pero a few moments later frenemies na ulet kami; nabweset na naman pagkakita ng ink ko. Bakit kasi ko nag sleeveless lol.  

Pero sa totoo labg, natuwa rin ako na natuwa sya. 

I'm still processing grief kaya too emotional ako while composing that.  

I-post ko dito or gawa na lang ako bago blog? 

Saan ba secured na libre?

Actually meron din ako sa Wordpress, pero secret yon. Kasi puro negativity hanash in life. 

Pero eto hanash ulet:

Gusto ko mag beach bummin awra sa Boracay, kaso ang taba ko huhu

Di ko ma shed tong 10kgs kabuwanan weight ko!  

I miss you mid-20s metabolism! 

I'm not asking for kalansay weight. Gusto ko lang pre-pregnancy body back.

Hayst! 

....

Random Banikolai and Mama picture:

Kakatawa kasi dami nya picture na mid-kurap, parang signature pose ni lola nya.

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Thought Vomit + Photo Dump

I don't know how to get rid of the bot traffic.  

So bahala na; post na lang rin with matching dasal na walang malicious traffic/ phishing na maganap.   

 

Some 10ish years ago, running joke namin ni Danica na may ADHD ako dahil sa short attention span ko. 

But now parang gusto ko talaga mag visit sa therapist to verify. ADHD Inattentive; that is my own diagnosis based on my psychology background of Google.edu lol. 

"pencil+paper-made.lost in a daydream.childish.beloved.submissive.resilient"

How long have I been lost in a daydream?  

Anyway, sana mag practice na ulit ako mag drive + park.  

And sana ma-try ko mag expressway.   

I set up an appointment sa salon about 11 minutes away from here. May parking space, but jusko ninenerbyos na ko just thinking about going there alone.

And the trucks and tryks along DRT ay napaka unforgiving. And let's not get started sa mga motor na kamote riders. 

Update: Andito na ko sa salon. Hinatid ako as usual, dahil umatras na naman ako sa plan kong drive myself here

We had breakfast at Aling Remy's Serkele.

Goto lang kinain ko dahil I'm boring like that.  

Puro lang ako si kape.

Kaya ayun nung isang araw Sirius Espresso Rainy Day Edition kami.  

Cafe photo dump slash Banban's Pictorial.

Side kwento: pagkakita ni Nikolai ng baha, kumanta sya ng "Row, row, row your boat" ☠️☠️☠️

Smile smile pero grabe magpa habol sa stairs

Cliche "Days and nights are ong but the years are fast"  

Mukha na sya bata! Where did my baby go?

Nakalimutan ko title nung isang order namin, but so sarap

Sya din emo shot

Ang tataba! Yaw ko na magpa picture forever!!

Labang tide ako dito

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Bot Traffic

Ayaw tumigil ng bot traffic. 

Must find out how to fix this.

My signature is a lie.  There's absolutely nothing interesting to see here.

Go away bots!  

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Sunday Glitch and the Tale of the Impostor NOC

Ako yun, the impostor NOC Engineer running commands and asking each and every outputs' meaning and next plan of action.  

It's Sunday wee hours. Husband and I are both on graveyard shift.

I'm sitting, slouching rather kasi di ko na magawang career-in tong mga tickets.  

I'm now contemplating if I should order something,  pang stress eating, kaso according to APE result and all my masisikip na damit, I'm overweight na!

How about you, what's up?

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