How difficult is it to reflect on the year that was 2020. I
really do want to keep this on the positive note, but we were all there. 2020
was a tremendously difficult year.
6 days in, and I haven’t had the chance for yearend reflection
and set my New Year intentions. This is new to me, so I looked up some guide
questions, and man they are tough to answer.
So let’s start with this one –
What worked well that I’m grateful for?
I am grateful that boss and I got to keep our jobs. I don’t even
have to research what the increase in unemployment rate was last year, to know
that it was bad not just here but also for the rest of the world. I’m also
grateful that we get to work from home and not have to worry about higher risk of exposure from workplace and on daily commute. With that, I’m grateful that
we spend day in and out together and actually not combust! We had our moments,
but we keep on surviving.
What were my most meaningful moments?
I think it will be too cheesy if I talk so much about being
a wife etc. But during the months that I was on morning shift, I inadvertently developed a
routine. Nap after shift, prep for early dinner or order from Grab Food more
often than I should, go YouTube or Netflix hopping while having dinner,
sometimes blog, wash the dishes & clean the apartment (yes you read that
right!). Before my husband wakes up for his shift, I savor my “alone” time in
our neat apartment and that makes me happy. Sometimes, I even stand on a spot
where I can see both our kitchen and living area and just appreciate our humble
tidy space.
Another moment which came to mind was meeting Siquijor; that
was another level of kilig. I lost count of how many times I uttered hunggandaaaa!!!
– “ang ganda” spoken with kilig that I
literally wanted to cry. It was like hearing a beautiful song for the first
time and experiencing 13 seconds to love. (Okay,
now I want to cry because I miss travel so much).
After the liquor ban was lifted, boss & I felt so alcohol-deprived that we
drank almost every weekend lol. Our drinking sesh constituted as our date
nights. I don’t remember all the stories shared but I remember enjoying those nights with
slightly looser inhibitions and tipsy easy laughs.
Where did I spend my time and energy?
I do not despise this question. I just hate the fact that I
will not like the answer. I spent a lot of it on entertainment, mediocrity, and
trying. There I said it and I hate it. At some point, I could no longer find
show and content I actually like on Netflix and YouTube but felt like I had
nothing else. Now I think it looks bad that part of my “meaningful moments”
answer is this lol. Anyway, I did try to look for something else that will be
valuable. I signed up on Udemy and looked for free short courses. I tried to
learn Hangul, I tried to learn to be a better at writing, and I tried to study some
other stuff that I am just remembering now, like Dr Robert Sapolsky’s
Behavioral Psychology lectures. I even volunteered for an NGO and translated COVID-related surveys to Tagalog. Without Googling, can you translate “behavioral
change” to Tagalog? The task was far more exhausting than I expected, and just
had to stop. If you are interested, I can hook you up. But consider this a
warning.
Ang haba na. Itutuloy ko to promise.
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