Unfiltered Now, Cringe Later

Gusto ko ba talaga to? Oversharing sa blog pero ire-retract din naman..eventually.
Also sana uso na lang getting therapy dito no? 
Para 'di na ko nagpprocess ng thoughts ko online for my 2 readers and my future self to consume.

Anyway, inumpisahan ko na lang rin let me just kwento about my na-unsyameng birthday trip.

Lagi namin dndrawing ang Quezon Province trip, pero 'di matuloy tuloy. And nitong Holy Week, nagyaya na ulit si Arjen but sobrang panget ng schedule namin ni Alidogz, I just don't want to pitas so much leave credits para lang makasama, so we didn't.
I also feel like (warning topic for therapy incoming) - I feel I've been too available for friends na yung mga trip lang nila ang ginagawa namin; of course I kinda like them too, otherwise di ako sasama. But it makes me question na, okay how 'bout the things that I want?! (insert tantrums here)

I haven't really focused on that - what I want. I don't know why, but it's as if craving ako sa connection kaya yung "companion" ang appeal sakin of doing stuff with friends, secondary na lang yung actual activity. Does that make sense? I don't want to discredit naman the things some of my friends do, may mga nabubudol pa rin naman ako na samahan ako sa mga ganaps

but minsan lang I feel it's not the same as the effort I extend. Thats not really my friends issue, but boundaries issue ko sa sarili ko. 

So I asked myself, ano ba trip ko? Travel obviously; to be realistic, a "weekend" getaway will do but must have beach + sunset (+ food syempre takaw e). 

I booked a nice * estetik * hostel in La Union for 2 nights for just the 3 of us. 
I invited friends but since Mon-Wed yung dates ng trip namin, of course walang papatos. Some are also recovering from recent magastos trips and I don't think they even considered joining kahit ano pa invite ko.

Unfortunately Ali had a minor medical emergency a week before our trip. He's okay now though.
Our booking however, was non-refundable!
Gahd it's so upsetting just to write about it. Pwede pa rin naman talaga kami tumuloy, but malayong drive and mahihirapan lang ako with Nikolai kasi injured si Ali, and the meds, and other stuff - I ultimately decided to cancel.
Gusto ko na sana to just let it go as soon as I could (including the Php 6000 I paid in full). Ako na lang unang aayaw bago pa ko ma-turndown.
Pero tinry pa ko ipaglaban ni Donna, to no avail. I warned her baka ma-badvibes lang sya. 

The property said I understood the terms upon reservation eme eme fcknsht. But you know, for all kinds of reservation I semi expect that for medical emergency, there will always be some kind of consideration. 
They did say it's transferrable though, but we were at the hospital for how many days, 'di ko na pnrioritize maghanap ng mapaglilipatan. 
Also semi hoping na kaya na ni Ali after his treatment has kicked in since minor lang naman yung procedure (such an inconsiderate wife). 
So in order to feel less defeated, nagpa compose na lang ako kay ChatGPT ng negative review at nag 1 star - which tbh didn't really make any difference coz the hostel had stellar reviews. 

Next best thing I want - good food and tambay with coffee! 

Life changing rolls: Wabi Zabi in General Trias - treat ni k'A. It was supposed to be delivered, pero I just didn't want to spend my birthday at home kasi most likely mags-sulk lang ako sa napakainit na pugon also known as our apartment. 
And while I wanted to have coffee in Bulacan, dito na lang muna sa Hiraya for the view and better temperature vs Bacoor impyerno feels. 

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Nattrigger na naman ako sa mga nakikita kong interaction ng iba with their moms.

Alam mo ba, naka line up na sya sa Philippine Heart Center for surgery. Tumawag PHC na all is set na, mag prepare na daw kami ng requirements para ma-schedule na - tumawag sila January 2022, 4 months after her passing. 

Tangina no?

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Isa sa core memory ko with Mommy was from a commute sa GMA. Pababa kami ng jeep and nauna ako tapos inalalayan ko si Mommy. I think I said “sandali lang” sa manong driver, pero umandar sya agad habang pababa pa lang si Mommy. Medyo inaway ko si manong, like “sabi nang sandali lang” in a pasigaw manner. 

Nagulat yata nun si Mommy kasi ang tapang ko daw. She’s not the type to get confrontational. And hindi rin naman ako sa totoo lang. But with her, I just wanted to protect her, at least that’s how it was nung buhay pa sya. We just wanted to protect her as much as we could. 

It wasnt enough though nung pandemic. 

I dont really know. Hindi ko pa rin ma forgive kami magkakapatid for not doing more.

Gustong Pumayat Pero Ang Takaw Q1

Photodump with description kung maaalala ko pa

Also filed under: Gustong makaipon pero ang gastos!!!

Special Goto, Lumpiang Toge,

(not pictured, tokwat baboy na parang bagnet yung pork)

Goto Pares

Masarap! Okay na pwesto sa Tagaytay - walking distance to Starbucks Hiraya

Ipponyari FCIE

Sarap and great service!

Kambalicious Iced Coffee, always masarap na timpla, I miss Len’s Espresso though

DaniBakes Chocolate Chip Cookies, sherep Banban-approved

Ay nasali. Char!! Sanmig Lychee para sa chics

Sa bahay lang 2 botts with husband

+ points for moments like this

Double Chocolate Pecan Bar, Starbucks

Hire, Yabu!!!

Carbonara, Daing na Bangus, coffee na inorder bago umalis, Noon Café

Masarap pero hindi life-changing

Bibimbap, Soy Chicken, K-Soy 

Masarap! Life-changing

Crispy Bagnet Karekare, Seafood Sinigang, Calamares

Salakot Café

Masarap pero parang instant mix

Beef Bahn-mi, Bahn Beo

Masarap, nadagdag sa favorite kong café kasi nakakapag play si Nikolai

Mura pa!!!!!

Truffle pasta, masarap pero di life changing

Also from Bahn Beo

Life changing Tapa! Bahn Beo

Baka eto na palagi namin order ni Nklai

Taho, street vendor suki

Green Curry, Mango Tree

Life-changing, palagi na siguro ako mag order ng Green Curry

Tuna to diba? Di ko sure may chance din na tanigue or blue marlin

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2024 and the Cool Nights of January

I wonder what the tally is of me singing Baa Baa Black Sheep.

“Eh gehn” he mutters to ask me to sing again, almost immediately after finishing the song.

Tonight’s count is 9 and that is just from trying to lull him to sleep.

I did not think of counting the times I sang earlier today.

You know how it is when you want to travel to a new destination or you just recently traveled to a new place, you talk to a friend who has been there and ask everything there is to know. You compare your experience. You try to find tidbits, hacks, and stuff. 

I want that right now; except what I want is to talk about toddler phase of motherhood.

And it’s my Mom who I want to talk about it with. 

Januaries are the hardest. It’s still hard for me to accept that everybody’s lives is inevitably moving forward but yours was left in 2021.

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Tagaytay.

Drizzle.

Starbucks.

Breeze.

Love everything.

Hate everyone.

Andyan na ulet bot what’s the point of trying to drive it away

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