Isa sa core memory ko with Mommy was from a commute sa GMA. Pababa kami ng jeep and nauna ako tapos inalalayan ko si Mommy. I think I said “sandali lang” sa manong driver, pero umandar sya agad habang pababa pa lang si Mommy. Medyo inaway ko si manong, like “sabi nang sandali lang” in a pasigaw manner.
Nagulat yata nun si Mommy kasi ang tapang ko daw. She’s not the type to get confrontational. And hindi rin naman ako sa totoo lang. But with her, I just wanted to protect her, at least that’s how it was nung buhay pa sya. We just wanted to protect her as much as we could.
It wasnt enough though nung pandemic.
I dont really know. Hindi ko pa rin ma forgive kami magkakapatid for not doing more.
I wonder what the tally is of me singing Baa Baa Black Sheep.
“Eh gehn” he mutters to ask me to sing again, almost immediately after finishing the song.
Tonight’s count is 9 and that is just from trying to lull him to sleep.
I did not think of counting the times I sang earlier today.
You know how it is when you want to travel to a new destination or you just recently traveled to a new place, you talk to a friend who has been there and ask everything there is to know. You compare your experience. You try to find tidbits, hacks, and stuff.
I want that right now; except what I want is to talk about toddler phase of motherhood.
And it’s my Mom who I want to talk about it with.
Januaries are the hardest. It’s still hard for me to accept that everybody’s lives is inevitably moving forward but yours was left in 2021.
