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At the end of all the hanash, nag sign pa rin ako with new company.

What a rollercoaster, and I'm still strapped in.

Sa totoo lang, ang dami kong regret.

Biruin mo over a decade na ko dito, hindi ko pa rin maituring sarili ko na "technical".

Dati sinabihan ako ni BFF something along the lines "di mo maiintindihan kasi di ka interesado", and I felt so defensive.

Pero now, parang ganon talaga.

I don't even try umakyat even a single step dahil I know na lahat sila mas magaling kesa sakin or lahat sila may background.

Throughout these years, hindi ako nag focus to actualy be knowledgeable about this field.

Eye opening yung naging "application" ko, dahil even mag IT Help Desk, hindi ako confident.

So now, kasabay ng workplace conundrum - another chapter na naman po kami ng Yaya Serye.

Sana naman may magtagal more than 6 months.

I didn't ask Yumi to stay kasi alam ko she's far off doing better things.

But like all those who left, medyo emotional sakin.

Feeling ko kasi hindi yung job ang nirereject, but si Nklai.

I know that's probably not the case but that's just how I feel.

And new level of separation anxiety na si Nklai.

He's really looking for his "Ati"

"Ati, oh no, nana"

Kakadurog ng puso.

And dahil sa lahat ng stress ko sa mga ganap.

Gigil na gigil na naman mga pimples ko!

Hay, kelan ba ko gaganda?!

Yung sabay yung payat and kinis.

Also, kelan ba ko matututo to speak positively to myself?!