Nawala sya kalagitnaan ng pagbubuntis ko. I've always been told "pakatatag ka", and that's what I've been trying to do eversince.
Pero minsan gusto ko lang mag breakdown; grieve the proper grieving that is directly proportion to my sorrow.
So when I say "okay lang" sa mga nangangamusta, that's really just saving the other person from the depth of sadness that does not have place in a casual conversation.
But not all days are that bad.
Yesterday morning nagising ako to the sound of repeating tiny scratches on a fabric. Ini-swat pala ni kulet yung pillow in between namin kasi gising na sya pero di nagccry.
There are moments when he look and smile at me na parang amaze na amaze sya and ako pinaka maganda nakita nya. Nakakakilig.
Haaay, mukhang matagal tagal pa kong ganito.
Sorry my love if hindi ito ang best version ng Mom mo, the one you deserve. I'm just really struggling right now, but trying very hard to cope.
Pero minsan gusto ko lang mag breakdown; grieve the proper grieving that is directly proportion to my sorrow.
So when I say "okay lang" sa mga nangangamusta, that's really just saving the other person from the depth of sadness that does not have place in a casual conversation.
But not all days are that bad.
Yesterday morning nagising ako to the sound of repeating tiny scratches on a fabric. Ini-swat pala ni kulet yung pillow in between namin kasi gising na sya pero di nagccry.
There are moments when he look and smile at me na parang amaze na amaze sya and ako pinaka maganda nakita nya. Nakakakilig.
Haaay, mukhang matagal tagal pa kong ganito.
Sorry my love if hindi ito ang best version ng Mom mo, the one you deserve. I'm just really struggling right now, but trying very hard to cope.
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